Are You the Type of Person You Want to Work With?

Yayoi Kusama, "Infinity Mirrored Room - Let's Survive Forever," © YAYOI KUSAMA. Courtesy David Zwirner, New York; Ota Fine Arts, Tokyo/Singapore/Shanghai; Victoria Miro, London/Venice. (photo by Maris Hutchinson / EPW Studio)

In any workplace, the topic of relationships and culture is a common—and often sensitive—conversation. People spend a significant portion of their lives in professional environments, and it’s no surprise that the attitudes, energy, and behavior of colleagues deeply impact morale, productivity, and satisfaction. Yet, a curious and revealing contradiction tends to emerge when people are asked two very different, but connected questions.

The first: “What kind of people do you appreciate working with?”
The second: “Are you that kind of person yourself?”

The answers to the first are typically enthusiastic and clear: “I value team players,” “I like people who are positive and proactive,” “I admire coworkers who are passionate, dedicated, accountable, and aligned with the company’s vision.” These are traits most of us agree make someone enjoyable—and inspiring—to work alongside.

But when the mirror is turned, the answers aren’t always as convincing.

The Workplace Mirror

It’s easy to point fingers at negativity, lack of initiative, or poor attitudes in others. What’s harder is recognizing how we might reflect those same behaviors ourselves—perhaps unconsciously. The real challenge lies not in identifying what’s wrong around us, but in understanding how our own presence contributes to the atmosphere we inhabit every day.

Ask yourself:

• Do I bring the same energy to a meeting that I would want others to bring?

• Do I support my team the way I wish they would support me?

• Do I show up as a person aligned with our vision, or am I just going through the motions?

The truth is, organizational culture is not created by policies—it’s created by people. And each of us, in every interaction, is building or eroding the environment we all have to work in.

Traits of Admired Co-workers

When we describe the “ideal coworker,” we’re often listing aspirational traits. These aren’t just things we enjoy; they’re things we wish we were more of:

• Positivity: Not blind optimism, but a can-do mindset that uplifts the team even when things are difficult.

• Dedication: A consistent commitment to doing good work, not just for recognition, but because it matters.

• Belief in the Mission: An emotional and intellectual investment in the goals of the organization.

• Accountability: Owning actions and outcomes, even when they don’t go to plan.

• Supportiveness: Being generous with time, attention, and empathy.

These traits form the DNA of high-performing, fulfilling workplaces. But if we only admire them in others and never cultivate them in ourselves, we’re expecting a reality we’re not contributing to.

The Power of Reflection and Self-Responsibility

Research in organizational psychology continually underscores the power of individual behavior in shaping collective dynamics. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that employees who demonstrated consistent personal alignment with their stated values—especially positivity and initiative—reported higher levels of job satisfaction and received more peer recognition, even in high-stress environments. Simply put: when you act like the person you admire, others see and respond to it.

This self-responsibility is the starting point of cultural transformation. When we stop trying to “fix” others and begin focusing on the energy we bring, we become models for the behavior we want to see. This doesn't mean tolerating toxicity or ignoring poor leadership, but it does mean not letting the worst behavior in the room dictate your own.

Collaboration Starts With Character

Imagine a workplace where every team member consciously worked to embody the traits they most admire. Conflicts would still arise, but they would be addressed with maturity. Challenges would still exist—but they’d be tackled with unity. Organizational goals wouldn’t be a top-down directive; they would become shared missions.

Building this kind of culture starts with self-reflection:

• What energy do I bring into a room?

• Do I listen as well as I speak?

• Do I show up each day in a way that aligns with my values?

These aren’t just self-help questions—they are the blueprint for building trust, loyalty, and performance in any team. Being collaborative doesn’t begin with consensus; it begins with character.

Becoming the Colleague You Respect

In the end, we each have a choice. We can continue to critique the environment, or we can recognize the truth that we are the environment. Every attitude, every email, and every hallway conversation builds or breaks the workplace culture. And the more we embody the kind of colleague we want to work with, the more likely it is that others will follow suit.

So, the next time you're tempted to vent about a coworker's attitude or disengagement, pause. Ask yourself, “Am I bringing what I’m expecting?” If not, that’s where the work begins.

Because when you become the person you admire, you don’t just change your job—you change your impact. And that’s the kind of work culture worth showing up for. Every day.